We often call out entitled traits in other people and forget that we sometimes exhibit that same trait.
As someone who has exhibited the Entitlement mentality and been around people who also exhibit the trait, I can say that we also need to make a self-evaluation.
I always had a feeling that people were supposed to support me or do something for me just because I was their friend, I expected people to always check on me, I expected a lot from people who I gave my time to, then I realized that I expected too much and when this expectation goes unmet I felt like the world was against me or I wasn’t loved until I realized that they weren’t treating me bad I was just entitled.
The earlier you realize that no one owed you anything the better. If you receive it, it’s either you earned it or it was given out of love.
If you want to find out if people are treating you unfairly or you are just feeling a sense of entitlement then you are in the right place because in this article we would discuss everything you need to know about the entitlement mentality.
What is the entitlement mentality?
The entitlement mentality is a belief that you are being owed a favour when nothing has necessarily been done to deserve special treatment. This is basically the “you owe me” mentality.
This can either be positive or negative but in many situations, this has been viewed as toxic behaviour because it does more harm than good.
Factors that causes the sense of entitlement
- The family you were raised in.
The family you were born into can be a major reason why you exhibit this behaviour, if your parents always solved every situation for you while growing up a sense of entitlement might be formed when you don’t receive such treatment in the real world.
- How you were treated by people of authority.
A sense of entitlement may arrive from how you have been treated by people with authority. People who have been given some kind of special treatment by people with authority for a particular position at a young age may develop a sense of entitlement.
- whether you relied on people to solve problems for you.
if you had people solve problems for you, you are most likely to feel entitled to the favours you received when reality sets in.
Traits entitled people possess.
- Entitled people tend to exhibit narcissistic behaviour.
- They think they are better than others.
- Entitled people tend to think they are in some way better than everyone and that is why they have to get special treatment. They are very manipulative and controlling.
- Apart from thinking they are superior to others these people are quite manipulative because they know how to get what they want even though they have to manipulate you to get it.
- Blaming others for every situation.
- These people are not really good at holding themselves accountable for any challenges that occur because they exhibit the “why me” mentality and blame others for their problems.
How to identify entitled behaviour in yourself.
Most of the time we are quick to call out entitled behaviours in others when we ourselves actually exhibit the same behaviour. We have all felt entitled in one way or the other. These are ways to identify if you are entitled.
- Self Pity.
Feeling bad for yourself or feeling like you deserve better than you receive can cause entitlement. I myself have been in situations where I felt, I was being treated less than I deserved and it bought about feeling like people around were meant to make me happy.
- Overly Competitive.
If you always feel threatened by other people’s accomplishments and feel the need to always be better than or feel like you have to be in competition with them to be admired you are probably entitled.
- Inability to maintain interpersonal relationship
You probably find it hard to keep a positive relationship with others because you have a very high expectation of how people should act around you. This always goes bad because most of the expectation goes unmet.
- Feeling you don’t have to try.
Entitled people always feel the universe would bring everything to their doorstep and they don’t really have to stress over things they want, always clinging to “it’s my birthright” mentality.
- punishing people with your behaviour.
when an entitled person doesn’t get what they want they end up putting others at the receiving point, like giving the silent treatment to others, giving tantrums and putting others in an uncomfortable situation.
Entitled people get what they want when they want it. If they don’t get what they feel they are entitled to, they can go about any means to get it.
When these people don’t get what they feel they deserve they end up having depressive thoughts, they often feel the world has to hate them. This often causes depressive thoughts.
Due to the high expectations Entitled people are often disappointed. This can bruise their self-esteem and have them go into self-destructive mode.
How to get rid of the entitlement mentality.
1. Identify that you are entitled.
It is said that the best way to solve any problem is by identifying that there is a problem in the first place.
A self-evaluation has to be done, you might want to take out a journal and jot those times you felt entitled. After evaluating all my traits and the times where I felt people owed me, I got a step closer to overcoming them.
2. Practice Gratitude
Being thankful goes a long way in getting rid of this behaviour and realizing how blessed you are. It promoted contentment and self-sufficiency because, in the end, you owe it to yourself to be better.
3. Be independent
Having independent thinking helps a lot. It boosts your confidence and helps you realize how much you owe yourself. Instead of sulking on why the world hates you, it would be how you can help the world heal and help others with this trait heal too.
4. Personal growth
Self-growth is a very crucial part of every individual’s life, if taken seriously it helps overcome toxic traits and help you learn and grow
5. Get therapy
Getting a therapist to talk about this issue with can help you overcome this trait faster.
In conclusion, the feeling of entitlement is something every individual needs to address in their self-growth journey, it’s something I faced and overcame and I want others to do the same.
Click here to listen to my personal experience on entitlement
We often get depressed because we expect too much. We expect the world to give us something and when we don’t get it we become hard on ourselves. The reason anyone gets depressed is that we have lost something outside of our control. In this episode, I highlighted one of the reasons people get depressed. If you have ever wondered why you are always going back to sad thoughts then this episode is for you because I talked about my personal experience on this subject and ways we can break free from it.
Click here to listen.